Introduction

I am a mother of two and recently discovered my husband's secret shame. Porn addiction (including both adult and child pornography), drugs, internet stalking, compulsive spending, and a compulsion to lie.

After having my husband, Mike, arrested and starting the process to divorce, I couldn't shake the feeling that there might be another way. He had always been an amazing father, and never inappropriate with our children. Looking back, all of our marital problems seemed to be centered in his secret shames. Besides the things directly caused by his secrets, we were always a great couple. I wanted to stay, but at the same time I knew we could never be a normal family. He could never be trusted alone with our children, never be trusted to spend money responsibly, never be trusted to spend his time online wisely. Mike swore regret, self loathing, a desire to change. I decided to make this promise to my husband, if he truly wanted to get help and be a healthier person, then I would find a way to make things work.

Thats where I am now: walking the fine line between being married to a troubled man, and protecting each  individual member of our family (including my husband) from his dangerous impulses.